When one person has affection for another, there are a million ways to show it. I once walked into a conference room for a weekly meeting. I sat in my usual spot and was surprised a couple of minutes later when a co-worker entered, grabbed his usual chair to my right, rolled it around behind me, and began wedging it between me and the empty chair to my left. I looked up at him questioningly. He stood behind his chair, waiting for me to slide over so he could sit. Then I noticed he was wearing an awkward but irrepressible smile. I immediately understood. He wanted to sit next to a female co-worker who usually sat to my left. No words were exchanged, but his intentions were clear. About two years later, they married.
The nonverbal cue I received from my co-worker is just one of many that we instinctively recognize as signs of affection. Leaning in and listening with genuine curiosity, anticipating the other person’s needs and remembering details about a person’s preferences are all ways to demonstrate affection.
In some cases, it can be evident even from a distance. In the Bible, Isaac committed the same sin as his father, Abraham. When they traveled, he instructed his wife, Rebekah, to tell others she was his sister. He rationalized it by saying, “‘Lest the men of the place should kill me because of Rebekah,’ because she was attractive in appearance” (Gen. 26:7). The ruse, however, did not last.
Even a laugh, a particular kind of laugh, gives it away. Authentic affection does not stay hidden. Do you have genuine affection for God? Would it be recognizable to others?
In the 18th century, Jonathan Edwards wrote a lengthy work titled A Treatise Concerning Religious Affections. In it, he distinguishes between unreliable and reliable signs. He warns against the unreliable signs, which prove nothing about the legitimacy of a person’s belief. Among others are emotional intensity, excessive talk about religious topics, outward zeal, eloquent speech about God and imaginative impressions from Him.
Edwards contrasts this with the fruit of affection that results from genuine spiritual transformation. Like Isaac and Rebekah, sincere affection for God is evident in one’s daily life. This includes a deep appreciation for God’s holiness and a deep-seated conviction in spiritual truths. It is seen in a Christ-like temperament that fosters gentleness, mercy and forgiveness. There is a soft-heartedness that accompanies these positive affections. They increase a person’s longing for holiness and produce a persistent, obedient life that results in God-honoring good works. False, unreliable affections are manufactured, whereas true, reliable ones are the visible fruit of a heart of faith.
Jesus said plainly, “If you love Me, you will keep My commandments” (Jn. 14:15). Just as affection for another is the outworking of what’s in one’s heart, so obedience to Christ is the fruit of genuine love. Affection is the natural, visible effect.
Is your “obedience” marked by religious affection, or are you merely doing things that look like obedience? Instead of asking God to help you obey, ask Him to increase your love for Him. Ask Him to soften your heart for Christ and deepen your desire for holiness. Ask God to give you a heart like David’s, whose soul “panted” and “thirsted after Him,” and whose flesh “fainted” for Him. The true nature of faith is being “fervent in spirit” as you serve the Lord. Pray that the Lord would crank up your fervency in spirit so you might love loving Him.